Seasons come and Go

Whether your Summer is leaving or just arriving, it is very important to acknowledge what she is all about. This is how I see Summer, with its impending arrival (or departure, depending on where you are in the world).

Winter is harsh and cold; he is rough and really pulls at your nerve endings. Don’t get me wrong: I like Winter; I enjoy hugging myself and being inside thanking whoever for what I have, which is what Winter makes you do. And outside on a cold Winter’s day the sun warming my back. Spring and Autumn really don’t matter at all. They are shoulder seasons, in place to warm you up or cool you down.  But Summer is wonderful.

Summer gives you the opportunity to see the future. She is bright days, vivid colour and temperature. Sometimes too much heat…way too much heat- there has been many who just can’t handle it. But I can. In fact I run with it. I find that Summer’s energy ignites my own and together we are unstoppable. The experiences Summer and I have are incredible. Why does this stuff happen to me? Is it the Summer effect or that the two of us are simply an amazing match? It doesn’t seem to affect others as it does me. The sunny days, the too many drinks and the constant buzzing fits me well.

With Summer I am proud of myself. I find I laugh more, mostly at myself. I have so much more confidence and allow myself to breathe. People think I change around Summer, not for the good or bad; just that I am different. I say correct. I do change. Summer makes you change. She helps you question. Summer enables you to look at the world in a different way. And the reason she needs to come and go is so that she can affect more people in this way.

Summer is infectious. Whoever you are you cannot help but be swept up in her cool breezes and hot waves. Many don’t understand the attraction: it’s too much, too full on. But not me. Summer to me is comfortable, a match to my own personality; sometimes hidden under all of the stuff of my Spring and Autumn. There is positivity, a hope that all will be rosy and peaches and perfect. Of course this is not the case, and sometimes there are rainy days with Summer. But that is okay. It gives Summer depth, dimension. Summer is most definitely not one dimensional. 

Summer is pretty and feminine. Floaty dresses, bubbles in your champagne. Pink lips and sparkles. Summer allows you to be childish. Getting too much sunshine or driving around with the roof off sining too loud to daggy old songs, she gives you the oppourtunity to do this. Staying up late, zinc on your nose, slip and slides. Summer loves being on the water, but being away from the sea, She shines just as brightly.

As a child I was never sure why Summer had to leave each year. I never understood. Now I can see Its okay for Summer to go. By letting her go, you learn to understand and appreciate what you have; the awesomeness in the light. And before you know it, She will be back again: bringing bright days and warm hearts, vivid colour and life changing experiences. Again too many bubbles, too much chatter and overwhelming awesomeness. And sometimes, Summer can happen in Winter.

Many of you already know of this Summer and all of Her too much. To those of you who are yet to meet Summer, breathe it in and just go with it: She will take you places and It will be the journey of your life!

Thanksgiving

A little while ago, a friend of mine started a blog based on letters to herself. Letters to her life, that day, the people, experiences. A wonderful idea, and partly the reason I started this. I'm not sure exactly why she started this, and she has since moved on, yet i still find myself checking in sometimes to see what it is she is thankful for. Thinking of this, and having just had a sticky beak to see if anything has update, has made me think, again, about what it is in my life that i am thankful for. Sometimes i wish we celebrated Thanksgiving in Australia, simply to publicly acknowledge what it is we are thankful for. Consider this my Thanksgiving.

I am thankful for:

My Three: They give me so much...daily. 
My Brother and sisters, mum and dad: for making me who I am and continuing to be amazing!
My wonderful friends: new and old. for teh experiences they bring to my life, both with me and without.
My brain: Simply, you amaze me. I contstanly try to destroy you with champagne and late nights, but you constantly support me with your dreams and reality.
Barbie: I love her! maybe just because she keeps my 2 occupied for hours, but also because she kept me occupied and dreaming for hours.

of course i am thankful for sunshine, blue skies, running water and electricty, IQ on Foxtel (godsend if you have children!), the NEW roof over my head and my 600 thread count Sheridan sheets and the list will go on and on but without the above people and also the people they are thankful for, my world would mean very little to me.

One fo' da Mumma's

This last week or so has been awash, AWASH I tell you with happy news of impending births and wonderful heralds of safe arrivals! Three friends have divulged, within days of each other, that not drinking on a birthday 12 weeks prior was due to PREGNANCY (and illness, and tiredness), not attending that Pre Christmas function was due to PREGNANCY (and illness, and tiredness) and shock horror, not joining me in Sushi the other day was due to *GASP* PREGNANCY. HOORAY!!! I scream from the rooftops!! And then on the other hand, a wonderful girl, Bridget, who you may even know through the blogging community, has welcomed her first born, Fletcher. Oh my goodness, what a beautiful thing it is. To hear another wonderful woman, another wonderful friend has met her bundle. Congratulations!! 

Ahhhhhhh........ (*WARNING: I know I sound somewhat clucky!! How does "Moore with Four" sound???? Don't worry...not yet! Miss E well and truly shocked us out of our dreamland. Need a few more years to get used to her!)

Anyway. I write today to new mummies, mummies to be and my mummy friends. About 2years ago, an awesome mummy friend and I, came up with a little idea of things that you are never told and never know until you are in the situation and have to ask. A little black book if you wish. In it we would write all the pearls of wisdom we had learnt and things that our mothers told us that even after 30 odd years, still worked a charm. I'm sure it has been done (If not yet, after reading this some young entrepreneur will get it off the ground!).

Below are a few of my favourite thoughts that have stuck with me. They are more mental than practical, because it is often the mental you need encouragement with!

• Hold him close...often. Contrary to what you may be told, you cannot spoil a two week old baby. Cuddle him, kiss him, smell him.

• Sleep when you can. No doubt the endless feeding is exactly that...endless. So leave everything else and sleep when he does.

• Lastly (and my favourite) this too shall pass. Your time with him this little, is fleeting. Savour it. At the same time, the late nights and constant crying will stop as you become more aware of his needs and more confident as a mother.

These affirmations should be the first thing midwives tell you when you are crying on day three, the first thing that horrible Health Care nurse says when she visits you within days of bringing baby home and the only things that should matter. Write them up in black texta on butcher's paper and stick them to the wall! Better yet, pass them on to all the new mums or mummy to be you know.

Mummies reading, what good advice has stuck with you about the first 6 weeks? Would love you to post it below.

A little February Fun

Ok, so I am most definitely not a photographer, I leave that to the talented...especially my beautiful friend Tamara (go ahead, take a peek!). And I am most certainly not arty, that I leave to my sister. But I do love Instagram and Flickr and all of the other photo sharing sites. Especially when they make my photos look professional (albeit hacked apart with the wrong light, filter, frame). 

So on that note, I am taking part in Fat Mum Slim's February Photo Challenge!! Take a look and I challenge you to do the same. It is explained clearly at that link, but for those of you who are unaware, each day has a different topic or statement. You interpret this your own way and take a photo of that: for example, #29 is "something you are listening to", for this I will take a shot of either my crazy children playing or the hot tradies at my house hammering! Ca'peche?

I am seeing this as another opportunity to take more of a look at my world. By having one topic to capture per day, February will all of a sudden become more than the end of Summer. I might even use the photos  around the house somewhere!

So reader....COME ON DOWN *price is right style*

Here is the house that we built....

Continuing on from my previous post, allowing you visions into my life, I have put together a little collection of photos showing a little of what we went through last year in building our family home.


 Take a 1950's blonde brick home with multiple add ons, knock down 7/8ths of it, chuck in a pool and Voila! you know have a somewhat modern, reasonably functional family home. Our builder has been awesome, nothing was ever too hard. And being first time builders, there was a lot of hand holding needed. As renovation and building go, we were very lucky! TOUCH WOOD!!!

WARNING: House is still not finished. Landscaping, interior decorating and water to fill the pool cost money...something that we are running a little short on (hahaha, no, actually this summer's La Nina has totally screwed us. I will post final photos when we are done.)

Day one of the Demolition March 2011

The back of the house going on.

Miss S on the pool edge

Visiting when it was like this was amazing! So open and high. When the roof went on, it kind of made the house too enclosed. Wasn't disappointed for long.

Miss E sitting in what will become our master bedroom

here's a house with a wall, with a wall.

Two car garage with internal access! No more wet dash to the house in the rain!

The light changes in this room at every minute of every day

Original front gate, being kept at my request

And we get a roof, and glazing!

Finished Kitchen

My first open plan kitchen! LOVE!

Infinity edge pool, nearly done. thank god it has been a non existent summer!

Still in progress, but we are home.

Renovate or Knock Down & Re-Build

Me and my three at North Avoca

I have been thinking, kind reader. I have been trying to decide what it is I am going to do with this place, this opportunity for me to share. Take a walk around previous posts, and I see you have been very patient with me. I have been thinking about how neglectful I have been, and also how you have given me so much support and I have given you very little back. For this, I am sorry.

Through serious encouragement from my wonderful husband, a cheer squad of adoring friends and some deep words from a very special, intelligent and enthusiastic young  woman, who I am happy to call my best friend (be inspired by her here), I have decided to push on...no no no, that is the wrong turn of phrase. I have decided to renovate this little baby!

Much has happened since I started writing. I'm not sure if I have  written this previously. My reasons for writing this blog have changed. It began when I was feeling so overwhelmed as a new mum of two. One night, between feeds, I needed to vent and BAM! While I now don't feel the same need, I have found a love of writing and I am planning on continuing.

Some people paint, some sweat it out. I write. 

You will have to bear with me while I learn the ins and outs of "blogging", which you all know is a word I dislike immensely! Perhaps I dislike that B word because I am so ignorant to what it means. So, I am going to make it my duty to find out what I can do with my third little baby (Me with Three). How to make it more interesting for you. You have read what I think about the summer rain, what I wish they'd told me and said Cheers to Sunday with me. And for reading those thoughts, as a thank you present, I have put up a few of my favourite family snaps of my three. Just a way to let you in a little bit more.

          

Our house being re-built

We re-built a house. A beautiful house that had a story before, and will now have our story too.

Taking a walk in someone else's shoes

My Big girl is beginning to see life through big girl eyes. Learning more everyday. It is scary, but oh so exciting!! 

My little girl just wants to be like my big girl...while still being loved like the baby always is

Husband in Dreamland

My husband had amazing dreams this year. He enabled us to dream. And we continue to dream!

Me in Dreamland

What a beautiful lady!

Look at us Pirate Wenches

I had fun. Oh so much fun! And sometimes, perhaps a little too much, with all of my beautiful friends.

And what an awesome New Year's Eve

So to finish, I am going to discredit myself as a writer by using a most hated of cliches: At the end of the day, this is what my life is all about:

Two most happy sisters. Miss S and Miss E smiling back at me.

Please be Gentle

So, dear reader, below is my very first attempt at a short story, titled "Perfectly Plain"*pat on the back* and I have decided to let you read it*GASP*. I am very nervous*heart rate increases*, sharing fiction is a lot harder than sharing my opinion. Perhaps because there is a lot more thought put into character and story...anyway, enjoy!*sharp breath in*.....

Perfectly Plain

With her head down the toilet again that morning, Georgia came to the realisation that, yes, she probably should tell someone. But tell someone what? Everything had happened so fast. This was merely not in the plan. Every aspect of her life was planned and detailed; job, position, Friday drinks, outfits and holidays, Christmases. How could something so huge, sneak up on her! So who to call first? Well, she thought, Andrew would be the obvious one. But she would have to time it to be between meetings, and the call would have to be before he ran out for corporate football at lunch. No. Too hard. Maybe Lisa? She too would be at her desk, but only pretending to be busy. Lisa would take the call, but what would she say? No, this is something that had to be face to face.

 Cue head in toilet again! Seriously! Enough already!

Perfectly plain. This was the best way to describe Georgia. Perfect in perception that is; tall, brunette, slim. Intelligent, but not invested.  Things happened for her too easily. For example, she had recently been promoted after only two months and was the youngest of the account managers. People were impressed, always. Yet she had always managed to do things only half way, half way had always seemed to get her ahead. Perfectly plain and acceptably half arsed was where she had placed herself, and this is where she would stay, until Andrew produced the shimmering 2 carats that was expected. IF he did. People never saw this calculating in her though. Behind that perfectly plain facade, was a measured, not malicious, brain. Every action was deliberate – Georgia knew how to play people. This talent for influencing people had been cunningly learned from a young age.

And now, she was placed in a situation so foreign to her. Foreign was not the baby part, but the not planned part. This was not meant to be part of her life for a long time.  

Skip forward in time: "Things are progressing nicely." Her doctor assures her. The baby grows. Her boobs grow. The illness stops. Tiredness remains. Dying for a glass of Sav Blanc. The realisation has sunk in.

          

            The questions had begun: Every movement. Every nudge, turn, hiccup, and bump. When will I meet you? How will I meet you? Will you be blonde? Placid? Will you know me? Look into my eyes and love me? Will I love you? Georgia thought all of these things as she lay in her bubble filled bath. Water barely covering the burgeoning belly that now encased her little bundle.  This was the only way to relax this far along. Her mind would race from the moment she woke to the time she fell asleep, and then the dreams! They couldn’t be normal! “Surely everyone thinks like this?” “It’s just the hormones” were the helpful comments her distant partner offered. Georgia wasn’t so sure. She decided to voice them again. “Andrew. I am scared.”

“What about Hon. Why? You will be fine. If it gets too hard, we can have the drugs and we’ll be fine.”  

“No. Not about the labour. That’ll be fine. Being a mum.  A parent. What if “it”.....”

He cut her off, “Don’t call him it! Say The Baby.”

“....The Baby .... What if The Baby and I don’t bond? What if I can’t feed? What if I can’t settle it...” and again, he cuts her off,

 “DAMN IT GEORGIA!!! THE BABY! THE BABY! THE BABY! If you started saying The Baby, you might start to bond with it. Shit! See now you made me do it! YOU WILL BE FINE! How many times do I have to re-assure you! The baby will be fine! We will be fine! You are not the first woman to ever have a baby!” He’d had enough. Again with the fears! When would this end? Surely being scared about the labour should be her main concern?

“Fuck Andrew! I know! I know all this. But this is the first baby I have had, I hope to god it’s the first baby you have had and the first baby WE have had TOGETHER! So please, try to understand me! Try to understand that I need you to pander to my worries and concerns and not throw them away! I am worried. I am concerned and I have fears. Accept that!”  And again it turns into an argument. Carrying on daily, keeping the worry in her head was easier than having to explain her concerns over and over. Maybe she was finding things to worry about. Could she be so lucky? To have what other women had? Of course not. She had never done anything worthy, why now would she be lucky enough to bore a child who looked up to her and loved her for just being a great mum? Would she be a great mum? So many questions. So much self doubt from a very self-assured woman.

                But this story is not about the pregnancy, who Georgia told or the arguments. In fact, it’s not even a story. There is no beginning, middle and end. Only a beginning. This tale is about a life that truly began once this baby arrived. 

                Charlotte Grace was born under perfectly plain (should I really be saying that) circumstances at 8:21am on a Tuesday. She was (is still) beautiful. Baby grey eyes, small wrinkly fingers and turned in feet - roughly the dimensions of a size 12 chook.  And there she lay, bundled, sleeping, oblivious to the “Ooohs” and “Aaahs” surrounding her that day and still oblivious at this moment.  This life that had just begun changed the life of her mother. 

                We aren’t talking “junkie mum turned doting parent” or “teen mum turned role model” and not even “woman who now has a purpose”. As Charlotte (never Charlie) was born there was the usual tears and overwhelming love. Georgia and Andrew were in a daze of happy hormones, followed by day three baby blues. Then came the anxiety of having to bring home and care for this bundle without the midwives or doctors. There were visitors, the feeding and the nappies. “Day One” started one evening, perhaps ten days in, sometime during the 3am feed (time wasn’t measured by two hands on a clock anymore.) Georgia was sitting in her feeding chair, Charlotte sucking away. She looked down at Charlotte and breathed out for the first time in 10 days. Trying to stay awake, Georgia looked across at a copy of “The Complete Tales of Beatrix Potter” – a present from one of the many well-wishers. Awkwardly, she reached for it, opened it and began to read Charlotte the story of Peter Rabbit.  This simple moment, in the loneliness of the night, had made the measured brain that occupied Georgia’s head spark. She was someone’s mum. She belonged to Charlotte. Nothing that Georgia would ever do from now on is good enough yet at the same time, everything became extraordinary. 

                 Georgia isn’t naive. In the beginning, and now still, Charlotte could be a terror. Rest assured, she isn’t the angel her parents think she is. Yet Georgia’s life remains; grows; strengthens every moment since “Day One”. Every moment since Perfectly Plain became simply Perfect.