Saturday, November 20, 2010

I wish they'd told me.....

To not drink too much. Dont do that. Take your makeup off at night. Wear sunscreen. Dont eat that. Eat this. Study harder. Dont try too hard. Try harder. You look beautiful. Dont wear that. Read more. Play more. Exercise more. Drink more water. Stop spending money. Dont go there. Enjoy every minute. Dont fight with your mother. Dont fight with your sister. Mother knows best. Go to bed! Having children would change relationships. Having children changes your heart.  Nothing is worse than sleep deprivation. You will not go back to pre-pregnancy weight immediately after the chid is born. Yes, you look like a whale. No, you should not wear that. No matter how much Bio Oil you go through, you will get stretch marks. It's going to hurt...a lot. You will need Maternity Pads...a lot of them. You will need Breast Pads...a lot of them. Having one child changes you. Having two children changes you. Nothing ever goes to plan. You are a supermum without having to be supermum. This too shall pass. You will meet new people along the way. People will like you for who you are. It takes all sorts. You have done your best. Listen more. Talk less. Speak up. Cry. I'm sorry. I love you.

Actually...they did tell me. Lots and lots. And now it is my turn:

Don't drink too much. Dont do that. Take your makeup off at night. Wear sunscreen. Dont eat that. Eat this. Study harder. Dont try too hard. Try harder. You look beautiful. Dont wear that. Read more. Play more. Exercise more. Drink more water. Stop spending money. Dont go there. Enjoy every minute. Dont fight with your mother. Dont fight with your sister. Mother knows best. Go to bed! Having children would change relationships. Having children changes your heart.  Nothing is worse than sleep deprivation. You will not go back to pre-pregnancy weight immediately after the chid is born. Yes, you look like a whale. No, you should not wear that. No matter how much Bio Oil you go through, you will get stretch marks. It's going to hurt...a lot. You will need Maternity Pads...a lot of them. You will need Breast Pads...a lot of them. Having one child changes you. Having two children changes you. Nothing ever goes to plan. You are a supermum without having to be supermum. This too shall pass. You will meet new people along the way. People will like you for who you are. It takes all sorts. You have done your best. Listen more. Talk less. Speak up. Cry. I'm sorry. I love you. Thankyou.

Thursday, November 18, 2010

One of "Those" Days

So often, I read articles or blog posts about how "today was one of those days". A day that is trying, to say the least. For me that is Miss S doing absolutely everything that i don't want her to. I find that these days are specifically when I am tired, sick, hungry, cranky....(hhhhmmmmm, I wonder if it is her or me??). Then add to the mix, the odd occasion where Miss E has the cranks too. Arggh!!! Yes, those days are hard. But today, no. Today. They. Were. Perfect. I had a wonderful day with my girls today. Again, Spring turned on a beautiful morning. With promises of bird watching, park playing and even feeding the geese, we rushed out the door first thing.

So instead of bitching about my day, I am going to praise it. Today I felt like a good mum. Today I felt like all the hard work and lack of sleep and added kilos was worth it. Today was like music. Harmony and licks and that funny little "ahah-AHAHAH-ahahah" thing that Mariah Carey does. Why? I don't know. Not any one thing or person. Just one of those days where you get out bed feeling like you have slept for ages. I got up way earlier than usual (normal time for my wonderful husband) and  I ironed one of his shirts. Maybe I had such a good day because it started with a good deed (Good theory...I might try it again tomorrow)? The girls slept til they were meant to and we had a snuggle before it was time to get moving. Breakfast went down without a hitch, washing went on and we were gone. No traffic...not much anyway. and singing variations of "Baa Baa black sheep" (We got to "Baa Baa Miss S Blue sheep...." Dont ask!) Totally not stressful. And then, once we arrived at the park, Miss S walked next to the pram so beautifully through Woollahra, she played most beautifully with her cousin and was full of ""yes mummy" and  "I love you mummy" 's all day. I was lucky enough to have in my care the most pleasant, happy, cheerful and obedient 2 year old and 7mth old

Anyway, my point is ...actually, I don't really think I have a point. I think this is merely an ode to our day. Perhaps this day was sent to make me realise that "Godammit" I have done something right as a mum!  Perhaps it appeared to show me that those days really are actually all of my making and all in my head. Me with Three promises to breathe when I am tired or cranky and look at the good the girls are doing instead of the bad. Me with Three will sing "Baa Baa Pink Sheep" continuously just to hear giggles coming from the back seat. Me with Three vows to start everyday with a good deed. Perhaps that will work. Me with Three will start having more of these days and hopefully less of those days.

Wednesday, November 10, 2010

Mmmmmm, Can You Smell the Rain?

I wonder how many bloggers in Sydney are going to write abut the joys of a warm morning and then a tropical thunderstorm in the afternoon?? I don't care!!

There is something about only needing a sheet on top of you when you sleep at night. And waking up early in the morning for the toilet and not freezing your arse off to get there and back. Something about getting out of the shower and lazily dressing instead of breaking a speed record to get clothed and warm. Sleeping with the windows open (locked open) and having cool summer salads for dinner.

We have all whinged and whined about the slow start of summer, but it seems today was a taste of what is to come. Suits Me with Three just fine.

The warm mornings mean I can do a load of washing and get it hung out before we trot off to socialise. It means Miss S can go berserk with the sunscreen (she loves it! Ain't no UV rays getting through all of the cream!!!). Miss E can get around without having her toes covered up with pretty socks or all in ones. Imagine feeling carpet, grass or floorboards on the soles of your feet for the first time! We can get out and play with our friends (mine included). Sitting in the shade of an awning while little naked bodies run around under a sprinkler and in a wadding pool. Of course the warm weather totally caught this ill-prepared mother by surprise - hence the little bottoms running around. No cossies, no towels, no hats...oops!! Lucky Miss S had smothered every skin cell in UV factor 50! NOTE: It was very funny however to see her a little bit "frightened" shall I say, by the wadding pool. Does that mean that A) I am a bad mother for not showing her one til now, B) I am a bad mother for making her play in it , C) I am a bad mother because she was frightened of it in the first place OR D) I am a bad mother because I am a bad mother??? I tell you...A mother's guilt!! When I was a me, I never felt as guilty as I do every  second of every day about every little thing! I digress.....

Home in time for sleeps, some me time, and then, by wake up time, the storm clouds had set in and it had become what I can only imagine it is like before a tropical thunderstorm. You know, the ones that we read about in dream time stories. The ones where the earth gods were "so angry that..."and something was created.  Angry black clouds, the ants scurrying around, that eerie feeling. Exactly the calm before the storm. That sticky air that is oppressive. It actually made me want to vacuum....don't ask why!?! This suits me perfectly because Miss S sat transfixed by the clouds as it slowly, slowly got darker and darker. She watched the lightning and heard the thunder, 10 seconds, 9 seconds, 5 seconds later. Then the rain. The buckets and buckets of rain. Rain that our old, rusted gutters (not replacing them cos the whole house is being demolished in a matter of weeks!) could not hold and let spill out over the sides. She smelt the smell that has not changed in my 30yrs. That sweet, hot, smell that can only be described as "hot day after rain" smell. Everyone knows that smell, and I am yet to meet anyone who dislikes it. And then it all goes. In half the amount of time it took to arrive. The storm was nothing compared to the build up and the anticipation. Sure it is great, but the apprehension, the expectation is what I love. How big a storm is it going to be?

Later in the evening, me with two girls asleep, I can sit with my hubby with the windows open, smelling the rain and watching "summer" TV. Drinking cool water, that very easily could be a Mojito or Pina Colada if we were anywhere else. And then falling into bed....wearing summer jammies and only a sheet.

So you can see why these days suit me. I think it is the nostalgia. The summer activities that I used to partake in when I was little, I can re-create for my girls. For me, when summer comes, it brings with it memories of tastes and smells and days spent swimming in pools so heavily chlorinated that we came out seeing rainbow rings around the lights. Running under sprinklers, just as my girls (or girl, sorry Miss E) did this morning. Being so tired that a day time nap was a must. And then awaking to an imminent storm...how big a storm??? Only time will tell. Dinner, a cool bath and then bed with only a sheet covering you. These days, so nearly exact to mine, suit me perfectly. Not only being able to have a re-do of all my childish, summer fun, but being able to introduce my two (and sometimes three) to the smell of rain.

These days mean that Summer is coming...it may be taking it's time, but the me with three can't wait. Just as excited as the me used to be.

Monday, November 8, 2010

Life through Little Eyes

Hold your breath.....
Make a wish.....
Count to three.......
Come with me
And you'll be
In a world of Pure imagination.
Take a look
And you'll see
Into your imagination.

We'll begin

With a spin
Traveling in
The world of my creation.
What we'll see
Will defy
Explanation.

If you want to view paradise,

Simply look around and view it.
Anything you want to, do it
Want a change the world?
There's nothing to it.

There is no
life I know
To compare with Pure imagination.
Living there
You'll be free
If you truly wish to be......

-Willy Wonka from "Charlie and The Chocolate Factory"


Sunday, November 7, 2010

Cheers To Sunday

Here's to Sundays. Sunny, not a cloud in the sky Sundays. Sundays that start at 7am (?) with "cuggles" in bed with all four of us (thank god we have a king size bed!!). Breakfast as usual and then washing! Heaps of washing. When it has been a rainy week, it's can be whole week load of washing. Hung out on the line to dry. Flapping in the breeze. My mum once confessed  that she found sheets hanging on the line, drying in the breeze very satisfying....I concur. I thought she was crazy way back when I was a me, but now...how good is it!!

One down for a morning sleep. The other having Daddy time doing our weekly shop. I should mop, vacuum or at least attempt to do something domestic, but no. This is nice Sunday time. Sunday time when my sweetheart can be busy, but I get to relax...aaaaaaahhhhhhhh.

Feed one and off we go. Here's to Sundays that have been booked up months in advance with BBQ's and parties and general social occasions. Cheers to Sundays that weren't booked up until the last minute (even if it was a sneaky "invite ourselves" arrangement). Seeing old friends. Old friends who get better every time you see them. Meeting new friends and sharing their happy news: New houses, new jobs, babies? Doing laughable themed gatherings. Mexican Sunday. Bogan Sunday. Seafood Sunday. Days that may be fleeting, but will last in our minds for ages. Long enough to regale the tales of fun with Miss S and Miss E when they are teenagers as my parents do with us. Days that barely have serious conversations, instead joke after joke after one liner after one liner. Happy news shared on the balcony. And such a damn fine balcony it is. Sunny. Overlooking a clean, inviting pool and a leafy happy neighborhood. There may be inappropriate comments and well meaning morons...but that makes us love these days (and gentlemen) even more. You know it has been a good day when Miss S is asleep in the car before we have left the suburb. When Miss E giggles quietly in the back. When hubby drives home with a slight sunburnt glow and when I have a stupid grin on my face remembering some of the fun. You know it has been a good Sunday when the bottle bin is overflowing.

And so the day is nearly over. Home to bed for the girls and a recorded "Hey Hey it's Saturday" for us....Hang on. It's Sunday. The best way to start a working week. Here's To Sunday xxx

Saturday, November 6, 2010

Indecisiveness is a Cruel thing

I am indecisive. I hate it. I was like this as a Me and I am worse now! It is horrible. For some it is a procrastination thing. Not for me. For me it is seriously a matter of which option is best. What will be the best outcome for me...and for other people. You could look at that as being unselfish, considering others in each decision I make. But no alas, it is not. I just have to weigh up all sides.  Is it analytical? No.  It is terrible. My husband goes bonkers. I ask him to make decisions for me to prevent the inevitable hour of anguish, but he never makes the right one. Perhaps I'm indecisive and a control freak?

What kind of decisions do I find difficult? Hhhmmmm, let me think. Yesterday, I spent an hour of my Me time trying to decide which topic I should write about (I hope I made the right decision). I don't cook dinner anymore, because I can never decide what to cook. Poor Miss E has to wait 20mins longer for any meals she gets so I can weigh up the options "If I give her pear and Carrot now, she wont want Carrot later"...really, REALLY, she is 6mths old, I don't think she is going to turn her nose up carrot twice in a day, especially after getting breastmilk ONLY for the first 4mths of her life! That is what a rational person would think...but no...not me. I spend the time debating in my head and it is only after the fact that I realise what an idiot I am being. Painful! Don't even go there with outfit decisions! That is the worst. I have even been at the point of walking out the door and then changing my mind AGAIN after three changes previously! 

We are about to re-do our house. Can you just imagine the angst I am going through even just thinking about all the permanent decisions I am going to have to make?? That is the main problem. The indecision itself doesn't bother me. Its the anxiety I feel just before a decision has to be made. Will i make the right one?  Will everyone approve of my decision? Even, will I change my mind after the decision is made?! RIDICULOUS! 

Where did this come from? My mum is a control freak, so perhaps it's a side effect of  that?  The desperation to not only make a decision, but to make the right decision? I don't think I am a perfectionist, so that can't be it. Apparently it is trait of my start sign (along with love of  expensive things). Give me the work ethic of a Capricorn or the creativity of a Pisces any day!! Really!!

(Should I finish this here? Should I keep going?  Maybe I should go and have a shower? Should Iwash my hair?) AAAARRRGGGHHH!!!

Friday, November 5, 2010

Reliability = Warmth

Well, for this blogger it sure does. Today I have relied more on my three than they have on me.

It began this morning when Miss S decided she was going to potter into our room very early (well not really very early, 6.15am. Early for us!). This is not accepted in our house. My husband loves it when they want to get into bed because he leaves for work early and it is his cuddle time...cool, you can have your cuggle time, but make sure you don't wake me up! Not this morning though. Miss S comes up to my side of the bed, dummy in mouth, breathing through her nose just staring at me. I can feel her wanting me to wake, i can hear her brain having the "do i wake her? but I'm not allowed to wake her. Go ahead, once she's awake, she's awake" conversation. With all my might i keep my eyes closed. Next i hear her shuffle over to his side. I am relying on him to pick her up and "cuggle" on his side. I can always rely on him. Thankyou honey. I managed to keep my eyes closed for an extra 15mins.

Then Miss E decided it was awake time. Once again too early, and so once again, i rely on my beloved to get her up and bring her too me. And i say he never does anything for me. Do these things count? Of course they do but not when i use that sentence in an argument "YOU NEVER DO ANYTHING FOR ME" kind of way. And so off he goes to work to make money so i can stay at home with our girls. I'm such a lucky lady.

Then I begin relying on the girls. I rely on Miss S to eat her breakfast quickly and help me with the cupcakes. I rely on her to behave while i plait her hair (Human Barbie doll!) I rely on Miss E to hold of getting squawky until after we are in the car (had our weekly play date this morning. Morning tea for me cleverly disguised as a play date for them cos there are other children and toys there). I expect them to be well behaved, within reason. I rely on Miss E sleeping when i put her down. And Miss S for that matter.

So, I may think that i do everything for them, (and yes unlike other mammals, human children are much more dependent on their parents) but sometimes I have to remind myself that i expect a lot of them and i rely on them just as much. While I rely on my hubby to "bring home the bacon", he relies on me to make sure the girls are "clean and shiny" (cleanliness of the house is another story). It is a wonderful, mutual agreement that is based on respect. As Miss S gets older too, i am going to rely and expect more and more of her....and too Miss E. Reminding myself daily that they are children, and children only get one childhood.

It's a sobering thought to go through and remember who you relied on this day and a warming thought to think about who relied on you.

Who did you rely on today?

Thursday, November 4, 2010

Me and Shopping

This is definitely something that i do differently now!! As a me, I would spend a good part of my income on ME. Something that my beloved can attest to. It used to drive him bonkers! the extent to which i had no idea, until recently when I emptied my wardrobe and found barely worn pieces that i vividly remember buying just because I "didn't like what i was wearing today". My goodness. I loved it! I also used to love the shopping experience. Driving to the shops, trying to formulate a plan of attack, finding the best parking spot without being lazy in parking too close. Then the actual event. Browsing once, twice even three times over the beautiful silk, or somewhat embellished pieces without caring for a second about the washing instructions (Who cares, I have time to hand wash/money to spend on drycleaning/as if they will get dirty anyway). Then taking armfuls to the fitting room, taking on and off the same item three times in indecisiveness. Having so much time to do so. Finding three things that fit and then gleefully making the trek to the counter. Bliss......
 
Now, we all know that the me with three is not going to have it as wonderful as this. Apart from anything, it just is not fair to make my two year old and my 6 mth old sit in traffic to find a park, sit in the pram while i balance my way down or up an escalator (why are lifts always full of people who don't need to use them?!) then sit in a pokey change room while i try on a few pieces that don't look like they should. Nope....my new shopping is of the online variety! Of course there is the obvious benefits of timing (i can shop when the girls are asleep, while dinner is being made, while...when anytime really), and the variety of stores (my latest craze is HopShopGo.com), there is also the Surprise. The Just Me used to love the adventure, the Me Plus loves the element of Surprise. Something looks good online, you buy it (along with a few other things) wait, wait and wait. Then, when you are least expecting it...BAM....at your door! How good is that?! And then the anticipation. Does it fit? Does it look good? Will the i get a tick of approval from him? I get excited just thinking about my next purchases to arrive. I guess the me with three thinks everything is exciting now. I tend to look at the world through the eyes of a two year old.....shouldn't we all? Ooooohhh, a new topic of discussion awaits.

And so we begin....

Inspired by another blogger, friend and all round talented lady tamarajaynephotography.blogspot.com, I begin spilling. I have read countless blogs/journals/posts about mums and their lives with their children and their children themselves and I love it! I love reading about the funny things they say and do and laughing at the computer and nodding...totally relating to everything that is written as mine do the same. And I wanted so bad to create a blog that explored my life with my daughters and my husband, but instead, I decided to make this more of a diary of me. Me With Three. Me with three beautiful people relying on me daily. What I'm like and what I think while relying on them, and loving them. You will have to excuse any grammatical mistakes or even spelling. I may contradict myself sometimes and be outspoken. But that is me. That didn't change when I became a plus one, two and then three. Does that even make sense?? Well, there is my first conundrum. Does the me with three even make sense anymore??

Who are my three?? Even though this is not about them, it is very important that you know them. Husband. Love of my life. High school sweetheart. Soul mate. We are best friends. Very little upsets us, but lots makes us laugh. That is a very comforting thought. That little upsets us, but lots make us laugh. Silly things make us laugh. Although we my argue, it is never over anything serious. I can remember 5 things that made us laugh last night, but nothing that made us angry recently. Amazing Dad. 

Amazing Dad to our two daughters. Our supernova and our cheeky monkey. Blonde haired, blue eyed babes. So alike, but already, with 20mths between them, so different. Cheeky, dramatic and vibrant...Gregarious even. Miss 2 astounds me everyday!  She is...so much. So much laughter. So much happiness. So much tears. So much joy. She can be a handful, as most 2yrs are, but i wouldn't want her to be anything else. She is the best of us. And too, the worst of us somedays.

Enter Miss E. The best of us and the worst once again (although we are yet to see it). She is 6 1/2mths and my oh my that has gone quickly! I second guessed myself the whole way through my pregnancy with her and even up until she was 14wksold. But why? She is perfect. Eyes only for her sister...tracking the older version around the room as I try to feed her! All smiles and giggling. Miss E will be the one who gives them away when they get up to mischief. She wakes me up with raspberries and goo-gling. Bliss. Perhaps the more placid of the two, but no doubt her own person.

So already, Me with Three is a more complete person. How on earth i could love anyone or thing more than my three, i have no idea. But I am definitely full of love. What is it? Loved up and Blissed out ;) The Me with Three most certainly is!